Quite literally, it was a shit day for me this morning.
I get up at the ungodly hour of 6:30...tired and grumpy. It takes me 10 minutes to get out of bed. I eat breakfast, shower, dress, and poof, out the door at 7:30am to walk to my bus that will whisk me away to Santa Monica for my internship. So off I got, walking. But damnit, where are my sunglasses? I go inside again to find them, but DAMNIT, they are no where to be found. I was running late, so I just left without them. So off I go, walking.
Hrm...damn, my shoes feel a bit loose. I bend down to tie them...then I notice something. There's something on my hand. Wait, WTF. It smells like shit...
Oh shit...
SHIT. I have SHIT ON MY HANDS. Where did that come from? I look around, DAMNIT. I see a couple shit footprints. DAMNIT. There is shit on my right hand and shit on my shoe. DAMNIT MOTHERFUCKING HELL.
Anger filled me. ANGER. I had shit on my hand. I had shit on my shoe. And I was ready to kill a dog and its owner. I walked back home. I passed by a guy walking a dog. I so hoped it was he who didn't pick up after his dog. I would've gone up to him and said with a bright cheery face. "Hi! I'm Roy. You have a nice dog." And then I would have reached out with my shitty right hand and shaken his hand. Ah, but it was only a fantasy.
Anyway, I got home, washed my hands with the hose, took off my shoes, went inside, then washed again for 10 minutes. Then I put hand sanitizer on my hands for good measure. My hands are clean thankfully. No shit in sight. Excellent.
So since I was running late, I would have missed the bus had I walked the rest of the way to the stop. Instead, I borrowed my dad's car and parked it near the bus stop. And took the bus.
Oh, on the way driving to the bus stop, I passed my brother walking to school. I picked him up and drove him the rest of the way and dropped him off at school. While walking to cross the street to the school, he said "Roy, I have something to tell you. I have a girlfriend." Then he ran off to cross the street before the light turned green for the uncoming traffic.
Holy crap. That made my morning. The shitty hands. The lost glasses. *poof*
Yay! My brother has a girlfriend! I was soooo happy for him. I still am.
However, I will kill anyone I see letting their dog shit on the middle of the sidewalk and not picking it up. I. WILL. KILL. YOU. And enjoy it.